deepundergroundpoetry.com
ROAD TO DEPRESSION
The road is dangerous
And filled with doubt
The road is sloppy
The ground is slippery
You dare to walk
You dare to crawl
You must not slip
You must not fall
The road is dark
And biting hard
Is the sureness
of uncertainty
You see a glimpse
The light is gone
You dare to shout
You dare to cry
You must not fall
The road is dreary
The path seem sure
You hear the children
You see the rays
Your steps are quickened
You lose your grip
Your cry for help
Cannot be heard
....you get lost on your way
To merry times.
The road is dreadful
The journey ends
The dark abyss
Of lonesomeness
Swallowed you whole
With gates flung open
The land of depression
Welcomes you
And filled with doubt
The road is sloppy
The ground is slippery
You dare to walk
You dare to crawl
You must not slip
You must not fall
The road is dark
And biting hard
Is the sureness
of uncertainty
You see a glimpse
The light is gone
You dare to shout
You dare to cry
You must not fall
The road is dreary
The path seem sure
You hear the children
You see the rays
Your steps are quickened
You lose your grip
Your cry for help
Cannot be heard
....you get lost on your way
To merry times.
The road is dreadful
The journey ends
The dark abyss
Of lonesomeness
Swallowed you whole
With gates flung open
The land of depression
Welcomes you
Published 30th Oct 2017
| Edited 31st Oct 2017
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31st Oct 2017 00:23am
Very true, Ola.
If I could make one suggestion ( as you've requested ), I would suggest the final couplet be moved up before the final stanza as such:
The road is dreary
The path seem sure
You hear the children
You see the rays
Your steps are quickened
You lose your grip
Your cry for help
Cannot be heard
You get lost on your way
To merry times. . .
The road is dreadful
The journey ends
The dark abyss
Of lonesomeness
Swallowed you whole
With gates flung open
The land of depression
Welcomes you. . .
The couplet as is seemed somewhat anticlimactic. Relocating it sets up the final stanza perfectly. And wow. . .what an ending " Welcomes you " is.
If I could make one suggestion ( as you've requested ), I would suggest the final couplet be moved up before the final stanza as such:
The road is dreary
The path seem sure
You hear the children
You see the rays
Your steps are quickened
You lose your grip
Your cry for help
Cannot be heard
You get lost on your way
To merry times. . .
The road is dreadful
The journey ends
The dark abyss
Of lonesomeness
Swallowed you whole
With gates flung open
The land of depression
Welcomes you. . .
The couplet as is seemed somewhat anticlimactic. Relocating it sets up the final stanza perfectly. And wow. . .what an ending " Welcomes you " is.
31st Oct 2017 9:28am
Wow, I totally agree.. Thank you for the observation and for nudging me in the right direction.
31st Oct 2017 12:30pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Feb 2019 10:53am
14th Nov 2018 10:13pm
<< post removed >>
