deepundergroundpoetry.com
-rush hour daydream
we play hide and seek
in a closet half-empty
lights string dangles between;
as our desires sneak-up on us
like unwanted favors
and rush hour daydreams...
-ed
in a closet half-empty
lights string dangles between;
as our desires sneak-up on us
like unwanted favors
and rush hour daydreams...
-ed
Published 27th Oct 2017
| Edited 28th Oct 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 8
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Oct 2017 5:39pm
27th Oct 2017 6:38pm
27th Oct 2017 10:23pm
27th Oct 2017 10:27pm
27th Oct 2017 10:43pm
27th Oct 2017 10:59pm
30th Oct 2017 8:30pm
i get what you were going for
but the first line makes me think of someone asking to play hide the sausage while under the impression that it's a great pick up line
*shrugs*
probably me being all cynical & shite as usual.
the rest is great... brings to mind first kisses that kinda spiral out of control.
solid writing as always Eddie, hide the bratwurst aside ltm
xo
but the first line makes me think of someone asking to play hide the sausage while under the impression that it's a great pick up line
*shrugs*
probably me being all cynical & shite as usual.
the rest is great... brings to mind first kisses that kinda spiral out of control.
solid writing as always Eddie, hide the bratwurst aside ltm
xo
Anonymous
14th Nov 2017 10:01am
Oh mmhm fenom yes, that ache is felt within
this piece.
this piece.
