choices of what to say

The things i have had to let go in life barely exist anymore.
I have left part of me everywhere I have been  I never truly had a chance to have a childhood in a way i did.
But it was not the kind of childhood a child should have.
One minute id have everything the next id only have the toy in my hand and the clothes on my back.
I'm not complaining but sometimes i wonder what did i do to deserve it.
People can call me a loner or selfish u can even say i'm wining i'm  not.
I'm just starting to lose the ability to care anymore i'm not trying to but i'm numbing my senses, and my heart, and my heart along with my mind.
I know some people have had it worse but i'm at my limits Every time I think of the past all i see i all the pain and suffering that I have seen and went through i'm 15 and i've only just begun to see the world now i just wana close my eyes i don't want to see nothing else.