Drive me, Away

Here's my final thoughts about the last day we said goodbye

After we first split of course I did most things out of spite

For some reason it displeased me talking bad about you I could've never spread a lie

Even defended why you left and on multiple occasions haters talking shit I'd fucking fight

Bitterness slowly overtaking me but even after my tongue remained completely tied

I couldn't handle the guilt of manipulating you through my filthy and shady drug induced life

All relationships are rough but I'll be honest and say nothings felt as right

I'd like to think we were to young to see the sky collapsing all around and later maybe the stars will realign

Everyone has got a path they choose to cross and if it splits eventually move past it and divide

So ashamed I blamed myself because instead of you I chased a high

But let's not forget how you wrecked me emotionally collapsing me inside

Every fight was always my fault making me a bitch when I apologized

Like the child you had made me feel, I boozed up then lead in heavy headed and snow blind

Well the funny thing is our legal separation brought us back together one more day

You scooped me up inside your whip to head into the bank

We filed for divorce but nothing awkward in between us we still talked like nothing changed

The witness was confused she even asked us if this was a divorce or if she made a mistake

We signed and finally I felt some peace of mind and officially the worst was over

I got inside the car and felt uplifted because I was fit, single, and 3 months sober

That car ride felt like an eternity and anxiously I sat there and time sped up from out of nowhere

I started getting angry remembering the times you put me down creating insecurities

I was clumsy, careless, unattractive, and all these things you said really did impact me.

I started remembering Seattle, Portland, L.A. and chuckled because I thought of the poll you walked into at hempfest

It finally hit me...this was really the ending...
My heart began to race my knees and arms becoming weak I started shaking fiercely

I remember wanting to yell at you because this was the last time that I could

Anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, happiness, relief, and sadness consumed me as I thought of what to do next

I look over to see you calm and collected with this giant smile and finally It clicks in my head

The last year we spent together I couldn't make you happy, nothing mattered anymore because that all I ever wanted

Instead of ruining the last few moments we had together trying to argue

We arrive and step out and I asked if you had a question I could answer or maybe two

I thought you'd ask me about my bad habits or try prying into my life on the block where my homies were packin

But of course you ask the one question I was hoping you wouldn't choose

If I shared the love we felt with anyone other than with you

I stared into your beautiful blue eyes then paused because thats when I knew

The distance, drugs, cheating, dealing, and everything we went through

I still loved you so much that I couldn't handle the pain of once again hurting you

Even though it's been long over I still couldn't bring myself to just tell the truth

I was always a really great liar but I could tell by your tears that you had a clue

I started to tear up and we both hugged and said our farewells, I was sure that you knew

This one's from my heart, dedicated to you
My last serenade like a fine wine we've aged
To a new chapter in life, we turn a new page

My final goodbye to a lovely love bug
I sincerely apologize once again
Hopefully life lifts you up and stops being rough
Cheers to our friendship....the end