The Meth Diaries~Final Entry

     
this will be my last entry      
in the meth diaries      
     
yesterday I slept hard      
through the day      
my wifi was down so I couldn't post      
     
the night was horrible      
I had drug nightmares      
but this time when in front of me      
I said what about the poets i'll be letting down?      
& didn't do it in my dream      
     
sad to say I didn't do that in life      
I messed up again today      
I thought about lying to you      
because I feel like a failure      
& didn't want to let you all down      
     
I received something I didn't expect      
when I first started these diaries      
a great amount of love & compassion      
from all of you beautiful poets      
     
I feel responsible to you to succeed      
& am deeply troubled knowing you will be disappointed      
but I have to keep it honest      
     
ending the diaries doesn't mean i'm giving up      
I just don't want to bring anyone down      
I will continue to fight this a day at a time      
an hour at a time      
I will succeed      
     
so this is goodbye & I love you      
I may post when I have a month clean      
I want these diaries to be a positve thing      
not negative accounts of my failures