The Meth Diaries~Days three through six

Heard or read this somewhere awhile back:
"If you want what you've been getting, keep doing what you've been doing, but if you want something different, do something different."
I believe this is sound advice and I have been using it lately. Perhaps it can help you also.

Keep trying, don't give up on yourself, for somewhere within lies the strength you need.

I'm still here and will remain so.

thank you for the sound advise dearest poetess I didn't write out those rough days & let lethargy win I will try & push though that from now & let poetry be my addiction.. I deeply appreciate the support..  ~Raven

no words, just appreciation for the effort even though there are speed bumps

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thank you dearest Poet you've a strong presence & it's felt as well as appreciated.. ~Raven

everything good starts with change so stop beating yourself up - you've went from every day to every other day to once a week - next target once a fortnight, then once a month - if that works for you then do it that way - I know form how you write that you want to give up - find the best way for you - you refer to it as her and a bitch - now I know this is not conventional thinking - think of somebody in the past somebody that has wronged you in a bad, bad way, maybe somebody you not hate with a vengence let's call her Mary - let's call her Mary Meth - personalise the drug view it as this person - when you fail she wins, wins and laughs - find the rage and channel it
I have use this thought process before with sometimes it works - anyway give it some thought but as I say you will find your own path and methods - if your poetry is so good during this struggle how much better will it be when you are clean :-)))))

thank you David yes I am afraid I was beating myself up at this moment.. you pointed out some things that inspired hope in me while I haven't completely recovered I am working towards getting better.. I will try as you adivised & see what happens.. I appreciate your thoughts very much.. ~Raven

The tone is quite different in this piece.  I can feel the frustration of your perceived failures.  If you haven't quit you haven't failed yet.  So keep pushing and fighting your demons.  Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

Thank you for the write.

thank you Wolfe I won't give up on beating this thing.. I will not let myself & others down.. I will write about it when I feel weak.. I deeply appreciate your encouragement.. ~Raven

Keep writing ... it can be reaffirming and life-saving ... Your strength is in your willingness to share with others!

thank you dear poet I will push myself to write even when I don't feel like it.. I deeply appreciate sound advise.. ~Raven

Makin poetry ur addiction is a very sound idea...I'd stick with that thought... :)

thank you dearest poet yes poetry such a sweet high without the sting.. I deeply appreciate your thoughts..  ~Raven

Your ink moves me and causes and ache...the pain and turmoil you feel is prickly to my skin...I have read the others above me and there is some very sound and good advice there...I couldn't have said anything better...what is evident is this: within you there is a determination to rise above and break free from this control "Mary Meth" has over you (well done, David!) - it is clear the one you desire to have the upper hand and no one other than yourself and this is a fabulous start...I have a very dear friend who in the beginning while trying to quit had said "it's only been 3 months since I've been clean" and I broke it down differently for her to see what an accomplishment she had made...it wasn't "just" 3 months, it was 90 days, it was 2,160 hours, it was 129,600 minutes since she made the choice not to do it...try that sweetie...the following morning when you wake break it down into how MUCH you have accomplished, rather than breaking it down into how little the demons are trying to make you see it as...take that power back from them...we are all here for you and will continue helping you in this battle...we want you to succeed just as you do...

"i'm down from a line every other day    
to a line once a week"

from now on, convert to an even BIGGER positive...whichever way makes you feel the best :)

"i'm down from a line every 36 hours
to a line once every 168 hours"

"i'm down from a line every 2,160 minutes
to a line once every 10.080 minutes"

to me...this is something amazing and something to be proud of! Keep writing it out!

xoxo Taryn

thank you dearest poetess for such a beautifully insightful & indepth comment.. I agree giving it a name & focusing on ground gained instead of lost is key to success.. if I stick with self loathing I set myself up for failure it's a vicious cycle beat myself up get high & on like that.. I will take the advise you've given me & use it.. i'm sorry to cause you any aches dear lady.. I deeply appreciate your support.. ~Raven

Wow...

thank you for the read.. ~Raven