My stay at the Funny Farm

Well I spent two very interesting weeks at two wonderous local spas.  We worked at revitalizing my mind and spirit and made some discoveries.  These places have some very regimented plans, but if you play by their rules you can have a wonderful time.  I really expected a slightly higher culinary experience considering the cost and the wine selection, non-existent.  But the staff was very attentive, almost like they always knew where I was at all times.  There were informational seminars and I met some wonderful people.
But truthfully everyone, the next entry in my non-fiction prose was a very enlightening experience for me.  I did meet a few people who impacted me in powerful ways, some good and some not so good.  I also found out more about myself and what will be necessary for parts of my self care.  
We will start with the me part first and move on from there.  I discovered that depression is only a part of my problem and that medication will be a permanent part of my life from here forward.  I always attributed many of the difficulties I had to the abuse I suffered.  I knew how I felt I should have been able to function and that was not happening, so therefore the abuse had to have been very traumatic.  Don't get me wrong, a man using you for a sex toy really fucks with a kids head, but he fucked with me more emotionally than physically.  I feel many kids have suffered much worse , he at least acted like he loved me.  So now comes forward the new terminology, bipolar, and no that doesn't mean I like to have sex with shaggy white bears (nothing against the bears).  So here we are discovering that not only is depression built into me, but manias as well.  Light bulbs come on and my defective attempts at OCD make sense, my sexual obsessions and racing thoughts mixed with debilitating depression make sense.  Well kinda, because what you see in TV and movies as bipolar doesn't feel like me.  
So my vacation got me a chance to discuss these topics with informed individuals and try some of their wonderful candy, Geodon and Depakote ER.  I have learned about who I was but didn't know.   I see the patterns of obsession and mania, bouncing to depression, sometimes so quickly that it feels like I am in both at the same time. I know me better.
Next will be some of the other guests.