Anxiety No. 1

My brain is screaming
but my body is silent
and though I'm dreaming
my thoughts are violent
 
I can't focus in class
Cause my sanity shattered like glass
and my inner voice is shouting so loud it's deafening
my ears ringing at the sound of wind blowing through the grass
 
Oh God, I could tear out my hair
to the point where I can see my brain
Screaming, Clawing, and Bleeding through the pain
To grab the little voice that's screaming my name
 
Relieve me
Bullet in the gun
Heaven ready to receive me
Open my eyes and
Hell's gates open beneath me
 
Suffering
Pain
Agony
Depression
 
Everything that ails me
Is driving me insane
 
My rhythm falls
My rhymes die
And my heart bleeds black blood
 
Like oil from a machine
The only problem is I still feel
I wish to be cold and hard
Unable to express emotion
 
According to Asimov's 3 laws
I wouldn't be able to hurt myself anymore
unless, of course, a human is in danger first
 
Life would be easier
if you could consider that life
 
it seems most of the time
I'm living in a monotone world
 
expressionless
unmoving
yet still full of chaos
 
Anxiety gets the best of me
and gets me feeling down
Telling me people are laughing at me
calling me a clown
 
Arms wrapped in a straight jacket
busting my head against a padded wall
bite my tongue clean off
Gouge out my eye balls
 
Do you think I'm crazy?
Cause I Fucking Do!
The voices are telling me
that they agree too!
 
Grab my hand and
pull me out of this pool of darkness
 
I'm slowly drowning
but my lungs won't give out
but instead prolong my suffering
 
Give me light
Give me sanctum
Give me sanctuary
 
Offer me peace of mind
Clarity
and tranquility
 
When I finally calm down
I'll close my eyes and breathe
continue living my life
and fighting for my sanity