Alienation of Affection

Rip my heart wide open
Take from me what you will
I have been numb for so, so long
I’ve forgotten how to feel
Then you moved something inside of me
Deep and raw and new
Now I’m stuck contemplating
And I don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried to walk away.
I’ve wanted to shut you out.
Go back to the way it was before
I ever found you out.
I’ve never needed anyone
No one’s ever touched my heart
Or invaded the privacies of my mind
While dissecting and picking me apart
So, I lay there listening to your symphonies
Naked in truth and nowhere else to go
Mesmerizingly unable to move
By the way you play adagio
It makes me feel like I’m dying (all over again)
and you should know, it’s not a death of physical realm
But one of the soul, starving and weak
Left tossed about and seasick at love’s helm
So stop speaking the words I don’t want you to say
I’d rather shove shards of glass in my ear
Then listen anymore to your beautiful truth
Because I know that your heart is sincere.
And I know that you shouldn’t have found me.
And I know that everything you are is light.
And I know that I am the shadows
That steal dreams when the world’s sleeping at night.
I know that you are intrigued by mystery
But I am a riddle that cannot be disentangled
It’s been far too long since my life was good
Before my heart and soul was mangled
And I know that I don’t want to hurt you
And I know that you want to love me
And I know you’ll be a caged bird if I let you
So I long for you to be free.
The more you chip away at me.
The more I will fall apart.
I’m just an empty shell of who I used to be
With a bruised and hardened heart.
I watched you dance out in the flowers
I’ll admit, you’ve made me smile
As I turn away and retreat to darkness
I’m glad to have been in your presence for a while
And I know that you’ll come searching
I know you’ll feel when I’m not there
But will you know it’s because I love you
More than anything I have before? I swear.
I know that you’ll find a new soul to love.
I hope it makes you forget about me.
Like a storm moving through the horizons
It makes way for the sun… eventually.