Anticipation~

My life has been on hold for years.  After my divorce then falling in love with someone who claimed to be available and wasn't in so many ways I was actually in prison. Even after the divorce we lived together for 4 years while I attempted to save my family home.  But the financial world doesn't like self employed people.
 
So my losses were stacking up.  30 years of marriage gone and a divorce thinking I was going to be with the love of my life...which was the biggest lie of my life.  My family home sold to investors that will rent it out for profit.  During all of this I lost my best friend, my sister Cyndee.  I lost all other family members due to the fact that I was divorcing my husband over an online love.  They called him a crazy predator and called me just bat shit crazy.  

I don't regret the divorce.  So much of me had died in that relationship.  Things that I never even was aware of.  I'm on my own now. In my own space, full of my energy and full of love.  And well cats lol.  I'm the cat lady now.  And I'm ok with that.
 
Falling in love with someone online is so easy.  You're here pouring out your heart and soul from a place that is broken or unfulfilled.  Most of us are honest and raw in what we write.  I met him...the love was real.  I crave his voice and his face every single day.  But it's his wife that gets all that.  So then comes in the burn.  I've tried to date since, but no one has that ability to spark the light that he did in me.  I know....I own my own, but it was so damn sweet to have someone "get you"...

So where does the anticipation come in?  Well, I'm leaving for England in three weeks with my friend Jen.  We are staying with a shared friend there.  We plan on going to Wales to meet his druid clan, then King Arthur's Castle and Stonehenge.  This year is a freedom year for me.  A time to let go of the sadness and to move forward with people who honor me and love me.  I love traveling with Jen she and I always end up getting into some trouble along the way lol.  

After that I'm off to do my work in California, Florida, Arizona, and hopefully friend stops in the Carolinas and Virginia.

I'm moving forward.    It's about bringing life in after so many years behind bars.  My lovers heart is still chained...but the rest of me moves on.~