Cannabis is the Love of God

 
      Everyone has many names. I’ve come to know this. Most have first, middle, and last. Pet kiddy names, countless nicknames from coworkers at work. You can tell something by these given names as they are based off appearance or a mockery, but what about chosen names. What if I told you we in truth can choose a name for ourselves. Whether we choose or not we still have many names, but find the true name of our very essence. Do you want to know my true name? The one I’ve come to ponder. First off let me start here, what if I told I’ve been called Jesus by multiple people everywhere I’ve been, from co-worker and kids at school people at the mental hospital, perfect strangers. They just attribute me to him and call me that. I’ve never once introduced myself as fucking Jesus. They call me that off my appearance, my demeanor, my philosophy and beliefs. Even when I cut off my hair people always said, “you remind me of Jesus.”  Like they fucking knew the guy. Everywhere I go I have this holy fucking nickname that I know not only plagues me but others. Do you realize the psychological curse this nickname, never introduced by him self (except for once in my life literally when that person needed to believe in Jesus) can come with it?  
          So as I ponder this to myself let me explain something to you, what if we were all possible to have Jesus in us even if it were just a momentary glance of the Christ consciousness. Now you may say what is that? Jesus is a spirit like being, a name like any other, just something we have come to attribute people by, it’s come to lose it’s meaning. Jesus died on the cross two thousand years ago. Why do we call everyone Jesus but do we really know what this figure really represented? A higher life form, someone who performed miracles not of grand scale maybe but in his teachings, that were in essence a form of Buddhism crossed with Judaism. What he said of being one with God simply meant what he had was enlightenment or Nirvana, and most likely experienced khundalini, what I have had from this holy fucking nickname. Do you not understand because of this nickname I feel fucking cursed to walk in his shoes? Wonder if I’ll die martyr for my beliefs because I decided to learn what exactly the Christ consciousness was and sought that state of mind and really understand it? The true teachings of Jesus are just Buddhism with the belief of a higher power that transcends time and space, the holy spirit, a unity consciousness separate from our own individual little sliver of reality. Jesus had a conscious connection to the collective consciousness, which is found after you go through your subconscious and unbury and understand your deep feelings and memories. Truly understand yourself and the universe, feel at one with God the grand mystery even for a momentary second that is called satori, or a momentary glimpse of enlightenment.  It happens everyday in you and me even for brief seconds. It happens everyday in pure thought processes, whether it be really good at puzzles and just see the solution in your head, or just really good at telling a story and being creative. Satori is so brief people often don’t know what it was. “It was a damn good idea that’s what it was?” they’ll say or something like that. It’s where your mind briefly taps into the collective consciousness. Pure thought.  
         Now where I’m going with this is this, drugs have brought me to a higher state of consciousness every time I take them, or that’s was what the experience I intended to get out of them when I started experimenting. It was only the over use of drugs that brought to my current definition of addict or alcoholic. But soon I found myself on a downward fucking spiral, trying to glimpse what Christ consciousness truly was on a grand scale through the use of drugs to try to feel true enlightenment. But what I didn’t know from tapping into that pure enlightened thought which truly is the use of certain mostly illegal drugs I would experience psychic phenomena such as deep wells of empathy which is truly still not fully understood, the sheer power of it. Jesus was an empath just like me, which is coming to become understood by science as fact not fiction, Jesus did reverse empathy that sent out emotions of joy from his constant connection to the unity consciousness or God, Brahma, Tao, Allah, what ever name you give it every religion speaks of a higher form of consciousness or energy.  All emotions and thoughts are is energy, vibrations, tones, waves, we are truly just thought. What if I told you that all life was one big shared dream. With layers and layers of complexity, a Rubix Cube of thought and God, the collective unified consciousness, was the solution the answer but also a consciousness in it’s self by the grand riddle or mystery and Jesus manipulated the dream through his contact with this supreme knowing of the answer.  I’ve experienced lucid dreams and have manipulated my dream world changing night to day, using this theory Jesus was sort of a lucid dreamer in the shared dream.  
         I’ll use this theory by explaining some of Jesus’s miracles. To walk on water you need to freeze it so he froze it or made it solid by manipulation of the dream. He turned water into wine by manipulation of the dream and simple thought and some type of supernatural transmutation. Probably didn’t feed five thousand but simply made them feel full through matching his own energy through reverse empathy. Cured the blind through holy energy, which was simply pure thought and concentration from his supreme knowing of the dream. Using this theory you can explain every supernatural thing under the sun even bringing the dead back to life because life in itself is a dream and you are never truly dead. If someone dreams it up it exists in some form or way because science has proven we live in a multiverse, it might not exist in this reality but there are alternate realities, other dreams. The possibilities are limitless with the power of unity and this supreme lucid dream like knowing. Satori is that momentary glimpse of it, that solution, idea, pure light that comes from inside one becoming truly at unity even if it is only for a few seconds. Because in truth we are all unified in some way, not one living creature is worthless of train of thought.    
            Which brings me back to this holy fucking nickname, because I believe I truly know what it is like to be called Jesus and walk in his shoes albeit without the grand miracles and martyrdom. To truly know and be consciously aware I’m still dreaming, I never woke up, I may never will, except for the momentary glimpses. Everyone gets déjà vu and that is the truest feeling of what it was like to be Christ. Now I will explain to you the train of thought that really got me here. I had satori from smoking pure THC after I fasted from it from it for about a week. I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend who was the one that got away, the biggest shame or regret in my life. I tried to stay away from it but I just picked those old scabs again and started to feel emotional pain. Depressed. So I decided to smoke even though I’ve been trying to stay clean I relapsed but not in the way one would do normally partying to have a good time, I did it simply to clear my head and help me achieve that momentary escape from the shared dream and become slightly unified. I treated it like any shaman would with that type of mentality. I listened to music on the back deck as I smoked.  I felt the uhmmmm in my throat, the Buddhist mantra sound, and began doing that along with the tune of the song eventually. All my hair stood on end as I’ve realized this philosophy of mine and theories supported Christ’s miracles and could be proven with sacred geometry and cymatics eventually from the simple question, what is my true name? Am I Jesus? Am I not? I’ll leave that up to you to decide. All I know is I achieved satori from treating marijuana like it should be treated for meditation and reflection as a holy medicine, to briefly escape and come back to reality what I had reflected in that momentary of feelings something that made me know there is more then meets the eye in the sliver of reality we see. By pairing marijuana with a mantra sound briefly made me of a higher consciousness and able to explain what I know, what I believe, my theories, my philosophy and try to explain miracles are something metaphysical, metapsychic abilities and truly do exist.
       Now this brings me to the topic of cannabis. Some people believe outright it is a drug and leads to other illegal drugs eventually, a gateway drug. This is false many people who try marijuana don’t ever touch other illegal substances. I believe cannabis is a sacred, holy plant and consider it my holy communion but some have said I self-medicate with marijuana. This is true because I do need it not want it. Let me explain, I have rheumatoid arthritis. I need THC for the pain and CBD or cannibidiol to prevent inflammation in my joints. Rheumatoid arthritis is an auto immune deficiency disorder, marijuana is the best thing for these types of diseases as it also boosters the immune system. It is my belief cannabis was put on this planet by God to help not damage. It is the only plant that can not only heal you but clothe you, feed you, and put a roof over your head. If we used hemp for paper and to build houses it can stop deforestation. Now some people think I use marijuana to cover up my emotions. That is also false, I use marijuana to understand my emotions and myself. Now before I mentioned my ex-girlfriend that I still pine for and long for her embrace, part of the reason why she left me is my supposed marijuana abuse. I’ve come to understand part of my existential angst is because of her leaving me and will always be there until I find a replacement for that hollow in my heart or she one day sees the true me in my writing and decides to give me a second chance. I don’t cover up those emotions I try to understand them when I smoke. I’ve come to realize I am a creature of love and emotion and choose this lifestyle choice. I’ve refrained from smoking marijuana in the past and every time I smoke it again I am slightly disappointed in myself because of other peoples’ expectations of me. Then I am again reminded of what cannabis is and it is not a drug it is an herb and hemp should be consumed as salad, a food source. It fights cancer cells and is good for the respiratory system when smoked and is also good for the brain as is supported by scientific studies. They say the usage of cannabis prevents Alzheimer’s disease and dementia latter in life. There are no negative side effects of cannabis what so ever except the stigma that surrounds it.
     My true name is Amedeus, Love of God. It goes both ways, it is the energy in you and me God’s Love and that longing of that connection everyone strives for and feels. Through a simple name derived from Latin origins, I began to understand myself. I had always been searching for Amedeus but I only ever found it in myself in the searching. Not from words of wisdom, like the Tao te Ching, or hallucinogenic drugs, or the teachings of Jesus and the Buddha, but from within. From the searching, from the knowing God’s Love exists in me because of the grand enigma. Neiche said “God is dead” in the great book Thus Spoke Zarathustra it didn’t mean God was truly dead or no longer existed, it meant all that was Love of God no longer existed in humanity. This is very true of modern society with the greed and fear, the false freedom we have. My religion is not Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Taoism or any of those but an emotion that lives in all of us. We forget it first came with the wondering and the searching of an answer, a solution. An answer to our suffering, one word, one name, one emotion, one religion and that is Love.