lust

He tosses me around like a toy he's willing to share.
Sometimes i ask myself whats wrong with this boy.
I play nice.
i dont fight.
Don't argue.
I play along.
I hold all my emotions back.
Deep inside, i don't let these feelings grow.
And he just looks at me with those eyes.
Like everything is okay.
So much i wanna say.
That i wanna do.
Its something when he doesn't want me to.
I hold so much back.
Do anything he'd ask.
And i feel like im nothing.
Im tryna be something.
Clearly its not showing.
But this fight within is gettin hard to maintain.
I don't know what it is.
But every glance i take.
Makes me not wanna look away.
My heart beat increases.
And im in a trance.
My mind is telling me to leave.
My heart says dont look away.
I know it's just one of those things.
But it hurts when im not even treated as a friend.
I've held back and i continue to do so.
Iv'e never been able to keep up.
But now its spiraling down.
Just wanna forget what it feels like to be an accessory and remember what it feels like to be neccesity.