Fuckin tired

Mid night comes and i tell myself lies
Low self esteem i don't even capitalize my "i"s
Why
Cause i don't feel big and i don't look small
Dig me a ditch and pretend you never saw me fall
i always wanted to walk but never respected the crawl
Sometimes annoyed by my own southern drawl
Grab a beer and cigarettes and on the couch i sprawl
Brain surgery took the fight out of me no way I'll brawl
Disingenuous friends who never came or called
2am to sleep i still don't fall
Is it me or the aderall
Me or the alcohol
Next poem i type i just hope i can fit it all
And hope it makes sense to y'all