GRAHAM.

"Time went on and things remained the same
Until Mr Graham started to play his vile game
The things he did still haunt me to this day
Those horrendous memories will never go away
At first I thought he was just being friendly
I laughed as he bounced me up and down on his knee
What he whispered to me made my toes curl
He told me I was his very special little girl

Graham would come and tuck me in at night
 Making sure he switched off the light
 He was silent, didn’t want anyone to hear or see
The dirty things he was doing to me
An uninvited and unwanted infiltration
A rough barbaric, vulgar molestation

One day he made me play hide and seek
And at his male bits I had to peek
Not only did I have to look, I had to touch as well
He said it was ‘our secret’ and I must never tell
I’ll never forget that horrific day
That’s when he went all the way
If that was a game, it wasn’t any fun
Because I can tell you, I was having none!
His game it hurt, it made me bleed
It was a very strange game indeed

He acted like it was normal, things were well and fine
Manipulated me to think that all the guilt was mine
In my head I used to argue,  mentally fight
Because I knew this strange game wasn’t quite right
He told me ‘I love you’ and that I was his first
If I didn’t do as I was told, he just cussed and cursed
He always closed the door, so no one else could see
Then he would get undressed and sexually abuse me
I never made a sound, I never said a word
I was totally petrified in case anyone heard
His dirty hands ventured all over me
I was pinned down I could not flee
He was so big, I was so small
And my tiny body couldn’t take it all
My tiny body was crushed under his heavy weight
I could hear his breathing starting to accelerate
The pain was horrendous, I would almost pass out
But there was no way I would dare to shout
I wasn't quite sure what he was doing to me
Just knew that it hurt and was somehow dirty
Dirty, immoral, improper, wrong
But I was so small and he was so strong
There was nothing I could do but submit
Close my eyes and let him get on with it


I used to have trouble sleeping at night
Curl up into the fetal position so rigid, so tight
I would mentally fight to keep my eyes open
My sleep pattern ruined, completely broken
There was no one to talk to, no one to tell
The abuse and lack of sleep made me feel unwell

I thought it would never stop, that he would keep abusing me
That the pain and shame would last forever... for eternity
The sexual attention which I did not seek
Happened almost daily, week after week
I had no way of trying to escape
The abuse, shame, fear and rape
Touching young girls were one of his passions and joys
Yet he didn’t show any interest towards the young boys
I cut my hair short, tried to ward of his attention
Waited for my next visit with great apprehension
My plan didn’t have the desired effect
My innocent body he didn’t reject




I drew into my shell, became a recluse
Made to feel guilty about the disgusting abuse
I wanted so much to scream and yell
Wanted so much for someone I could tell
I wouldn’t have been believed anyway
No signs of surprise, horror or dismay
Would have been made to feel like a trouble maker
Accused of being a liar, fibber, a faker
So I just kept my mouth closed
Keeping my secret hidden and unexposed