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When I was born I knew you didn't want me,
that was alright with me.
The day you pushed me down the stairs I bleed for an hour,
I didn't shed a tear.
When Mother told me not to ask why you were never home,
I listened intently and nodded like a good girl.
When Brother hit me in the arm I hit him back,
always trying to impress the uninterested.
The night two boys followed me home wavering a price on my head,
I kicked them to the ground, just like you said.
All I want is for you to notice.
Though I know you won't.
You never will.
that was alright with me.
The day you pushed me down the stairs I bleed for an hour,
I didn't shed a tear.
When Mother told me not to ask why you were never home,
I listened intently and nodded like a good girl.
When Brother hit me in the arm I hit him back,
always trying to impress the uninterested.
The night two boys followed me home wavering a price on my head,
I kicked them to the ground, just like you said.
All I want is for you to notice.
Though I know you won't.
You never will.
Published 4th Sep 2011
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likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 1065
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Sep 2011 10:19am
Hey Amelia,
These are the poems I like.
Short and easy to follow.
I can understand what your writing about without it tying my lil brain in knots :o)
I can also relate to your poem as well,
My "expert" opinion dont count for much but I like it, Well done :o)
These are the poems I like.
Short and easy to follow.
I can understand what your writing about without it tying my lil brain in knots :o)
I can also relate to your poem as well,
My "expert" opinion dont count for much but I like it, Well done :o)
4th Sep 2011 3:05pm
I do appreciate any feedback I recieve from anyone, so thank you. Though one thing--Call me Emma, if you would. Have a fantastic day plotting your next devious piece of literature.
4th Sep 2011 5:25pm
4th Sep 2011 5:34pm
4th Sep 2011 5:41pm
dis was Beautifully expressed
how we want attn but get less
dats da cause of so much stress
& at times it can b hard 2 digest
but God Pulls us thru dis & any test
& wen we realize dat den we undastand dat we r Truly Blessed....;)
how we want attn but get less
dats da cause of so much stress
& at times it can b hard 2 digest
but God Pulls us thru dis & any test
& wen we realize dat den we undastand dat we r Truly Blessed....;)
4th Sep 2011 6:09pm
Thank for that very good advice, I might look up to this man known as the "lord" or so "God".
4th Sep 2011 6:11pm
u shud chek out my poem called "M.F.".....it deals wit neglect & im sure it wil leave u touched....;)
nice job, Emma.
"When I was born I knew you didn't want me"
this line does not sit right with me.
hate to get technical here Emma but when you were born you couldn't possibly have known anything bar where to feed from. i do get what you are saying here so maybe it's fine,however if you felt you might want to change it a bit;
"When I was born you said you didn't want me
that was alright with me." would be my suggestion.
other than that, this is pretty good on the eye, it reads well and has good punctuation.
p.s "I might look up to this man known as the "lord" ha!
great stuff.!
"When I was born I knew you didn't want me"
this line does not sit right with me.
hate to get technical here Emma but when you were born you couldn't possibly have known anything bar where to feed from. i do get what you are saying here so maybe it's fine,however if you felt you might want to change it a bit;
"When I was born you said you didn't want me
that was alright with me." would be my suggestion.
other than that, this is pretty good on the eye, it reads well and has good punctuation.
p.s "I might look up to this man known as the "lord" ha!
great stuff.!
6th Sep 2011 4:04am
I suppose my wording was wrong, I didn't even mean it that way. I meant as when I was born they already didn't want me, I guess I just worded it wrong.
I thank you for a critism, it helps.
P.S Thank you for taking note in my sarcasm.
I thank you for a critism, it helps.
P.S Thank you for taking note in my sarcasm.
