BURGER MURDER

After a long hard day’s work at McDonald’s, Ronald came home to find Wendy in bed with the King.  
 
“How could you betray me for this twink in tights,” he screamed?
 
“Ronny, I’ve told you, your Big Mac wasn’t doing it for me.  So I thought I’d try the King’s meat for a treat.” Glancing at the grinning King she added doe eyed, “and let me tell you, it’s true.  It does take two hands to handle his Whooper.  Besides,” she looked back at Ronald with disgust, “I’m tired of having to swallow your Mcflurry when you refuse to eat my Hot and Juicy.  Instead of demanding I get on my knees, like you do, the King here told me, “you can have it your way.”  And he filled my order according to my desire.”
 
“You Bitch,” Ronald bellowed!
 
Wendy giggled, “I haven’t cum like this since the Colonel took me over his knee and gave me a finger licking Chick-fil-A.  In fact, this monarch knows how to think outside the bun.  He’s a worse pervert then Jared.  When I asked I asked him for a refill, he gave it to me for free,” Wendy giggled as she batted her lashes at the King.
 
“And just when I thought he was out of special offers, for a limited time only, he gave me a kinky Bacon Cheese in a Big Black Bun.  You ought to see it.  It’s nothing like your soggy McRib. “
 
Shaking her red hair she addressed the King in disgust, “Gawd, that thing was more disgusting then when Carl Jr. showed me his scrawny fry.”  
 
“You Dirty Ketchup Dripping Slut!”  Ronald was livid.
 
“Oh Ronald, don’t be such a tight-ass.  Take off those baggy clown pants and hop in the sack with me and the King, so we can have a BK Double Stacker.  Besides, the King could teach you a thing or two about how to use a girl's drive through.”
 
Ronald’s eyes glowed red with rage.  “Do you know how many kids I killed today, with pink slime and trans fat,” he yelled producing a bright yellow ceramic knife?  
 
But the King kept grinning while Wendy continued taunting.   “Where’s the beef, chief?  You don’t scare me with that happy meal toy.  So why don’t you go to your play-land and make the Hamburglar Grimace.”
 …………………………………………..
Long John Silver was chilling at White Castle when he got a call on his cell.  “Hello,” he answered.  
 
“I need your help Johnny.”  It was Ronald McDonald.  “You need to grab a bucket and mop and get over here. I just caught Wendy fucking the Burger King.  I killed them both cutting them up into bite-size McNuggets.  There’s blood all over the place and we need to clean this place up, from its tip to its top.”  
 
“I’ll help you clean the scene, but you realize you’re not going be able to pass them off as processed chicken,” Long John Silver warned.  
 
“I know that,” Ronald sighed.  “But you can help me smuggle them into Taco Bell’s kitchen.  We’ll dump them into their hamburger vat.  They’ll mix right in with the kangaroo meat.  Those fat-assed TB customers will never know the difference.”
 
“Hang tight, I’ll be right there buddy,” Long John said before disconnecting.
 
Shaking his head he made his way out the door as he muttered under his breath, “Damn fools, they should have known better to fuck with a clown that’s already killed millions.”