To whom it may concern...

I'm just writing to say thanks.

Thanks for visiting the strip club last night, I hope you enjoyed all those boobs and asses and pussys all over the place.

Thanks for going to the bar, getting pissed out your head and driving home. I'm sure those unfortunate pedestrians will be okay in the next life.

Thanks for moving in with your girlfriend, it's fucking brilliant isn't it? Shagging her every single night. Who needs marriage anyway?

Thanks for taking money out of your mother's purse. As long as you take them in instalments, she won't notice!

Thanks for being selfish, who gives a fuck about that beggar asking for change? You have your own ass to take care of!

Thanks fo lying all the time, hell you should do it more often than breathing!

Thanks for being a dick to everyone, noone deserves your love, it's a waste of time and money, YOUR time and money, you love yourself, and that's what matters.

Sincerely,
Your pal, Satan.