Letter to myself

How's it going man damn your not looking to great ,
Keep telling yourself that this is all just fate,
And everything happens for a reason so you can procrastinate,
From achieving and succeeding and making a real change.
But like you'll ever change all you do is take,
And create problems your to fucking pussy to face,
So you sit in one place drowning in your own shame,
Playing the same damn game every single fucking day.
Just a hopeless poet that has to many emotions,.
With tears that could fill an ocean but refuses to show it,
Cuz your broken and most your pieces no longer exist,
Crushed into dust and burnt to a crisp
Only way of communication is throwing a fist
Talking about loyalty when your the one who can't commit
With lips that are only good for speaking dreams,
But all you do is create nightmares no wonder you have  razor blades for teeth,
That you sink deep into everybody  you meet,
And watch as they bleed
And before you get seen you flea the  scene.
A magician they should call you cuz your pretty good at playing tricks  
Getting your kicks by toying with these chicks  Showing them the Sun then becoming the eclipse.
Like seriously how many girls have you made fall in love with you and how many have you actually loved,
Maybe two or one you worthless fuck you deserve none,
Not a ounce of trust with anyone you destroy everything you touch,
Just a piece of shit and you need to be flushed,
Only thing your interested in is music and drugs
Nothing but a dead end and its time to get cut.
Cuz its obvious you must have some type of learning disability,
Could have developed from not having any real living stability,
Or maybe it was all thos treatment centers and locked facilities
Either way you look at it your just a liability
Oh woa is me with your insecurities cry me a fucking river,
Or just sit here and bicker with your liver with every pill you pop and sip of liquor,
Convincing yourself it'll help the picture but really all it does is make you bitter.
Its sad addicted to attention was always trying to be the clown of the class,
And you still haven't grasped the fact that your a sociopath.
You sit there and laugh as you treat others like trash,
Your just a rash everyone wants to get ride of a psychopathic outcast,
Not one thing you have ever had has ever lasted
You always let it collapse before it could become something that mattered
Giving compliments hoping  to flatter
Thinking your the shit but that's just delusions of grandeur.
But I will give you this not one to use much slander,
And you try your best to be polite and stay well mannered.
It brings me laughter cuz it's all just a cloak,
To hide that thick twisted string you have wrapped around thier throats,
In complete control you could easily make them choke,
But little do they know your throat also has a rope.
And the tables could turn in the blink of an eye,
And without paying any mind they got you wrapped in there lies.
Your to fucking gullible but think your untouchable,
But the only reason Noone is around you Is cuz your insufferable.
What a foolish tool you have become,
Thoughts of bullets in your head from the burning gun,
Maybe that's how it should end so it can just be done,
But your to pussy to pull the trigger so you rather run.
and run and keep running until you finally get caught,
And realize your actions are the reason why all is lost.
Still holding onto your pride but everything was the cost,
And you keep searching but what you want cannot be bought,
Still no progress cuz all you do is talk
But yourself is all you need right, good cuz that's all you got.
And its your fault you're the cause to this fucking effect,
Should double check and  actually look at the image you reflect,
Your daughter you neglect all you want for her is the best,
But your treating her like the rest maybe even a little less
What the fuck don't you get or did you just forget
She comes before everything or did you not get to it yet.
Alot of intelligence but no common sense,
Say you give it your all but you have yet to give your best,
A hot ass mess that has nothing left,
Say you'd take nothing back but have a lot of regrets.
A walking contradicton with horrible vision,
Can't make a decision so you always end up in collisions,
Always on the search cuz you feel something is missing
Anxiety and insecurities you keep hidden but seem to prevent you from actually living.
Your an illusion never present what you actually represent,
So far in depth it looks like karma has been sent to collect,
But you'll stay on the defense until you meet death,
Even when your wrong youll defend what you said cuz your as stubborn as they get.
Taurus horoscope an overdose is how you cope, with your diminishment of hope but somehow you remain afloat.
Idk what's going or why your still alive,.
Sad to say but you'll keep all these character defects until you die.