deepundergroundpoetry.com
fall the rain
can fall the rain?
can rage the trees, that give a hospice
to every weary, wounded bird?
can call the birds by name?
was every road so cobbled & split
was every cloud a bruise upon the sky
was every grassy field parched & withered
was every hill so high
a soldier’s helmet is a crown of thorns
his aches, a spear thrust in his side
full of a minstrel that merely mourns
full of sorrow, but never cried
dismantle the cannon that pocks the land
rip the flag that takes no mends
a thousand miles begins a journey
a journey never ends
the burning night is made of songs he didn’t sing
the hill that stretches higher, higher
a brooding passion, a sculpted fire…
I’ve lost something
(Art: Rene Jacques)
Published 22nd Jun 2017
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likes 16
reading list entries 4
comments 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Jun 2017 8:10pm
Quite a departure! The rhyme and structure are spot on, and this reads like more of a thoughtful myth than a noir. Maybe the legend of the lost soldier.
a soldier’s helmet is a crown of thorns
his aches, a spear thrust in his side
full of a minstrel that merely mourns
full of sorrow, but never cried
Fall the rain, relieve the sorrow, and the pain. One hopes anyway. Truly impressive work.
a soldier’s helmet is a crown of thorns
his aches, a spear thrust in his side
full of a minstrel that merely mourns
full of sorrow, but never cried
Fall the rain, relieve the sorrow, and the pain. One hopes anyway. Truly impressive work.
Anonymous
22nd Jun 2017 9:23pm
This is so different from what I'm used to reading from you that it took a moment for my mind to adjust. It's incredibly beautiful. The poem itself weeps.
its this which makes a poet a poet, a soul so sensitive n noble..n that which is utmost brave to transform whren there is that need..
darkness that surrounds more n more.. is heavy n more heavy.in the going...that which needs to be in light, all these ringing questions..full of sorrow, but never cried" ..the truth as you spell makes this space n read even more denser n clouded..
I read this aloud once n more..n the voice lent sounds clear with tints of rage and concern with a way seen inspite of all the overwhelming poetry n heaviness....
ah..different from you sure..loved this..xx
darkness that surrounds more n more.. is heavy n more heavy.in the going...that which needs to be in light, all these ringing questions..full of sorrow, but never cried" ..the truth as you spell makes this space n read even more denser n clouded..
I read this aloud once n more..n the voice lent sounds clear with tints of rage and concern with a way seen inspite of all the overwhelming poetry n heaviness....
ah..different from you sure..loved this..xx
23rd Jun 2017 1:14am
Loss is gain-
Having lost gives us the knowledge that we had it to lose in the first place.
Just as finding something unknown teaches us about the loss of never having.
Even the clouds feel the loss of rain.
Exquisite work, John
And the artwork is a fine selection...
Having lost gives us the knowledge that we had it to lose in the first place.
Just as finding something unknown teaches us about the loss of never having.
Even the clouds feel the loss of rain.
Exquisite work, John
And the artwork is a fine selection...
23rd Jun 2017 3:04pm
I felt the searching in this one palpably, John.
Love the more traditional form and rhyme, you you still managed to retain the Noir quality.
The image is stunning.
Love the more traditional form and rhyme, you you still managed to retain the Noir quality.
The image is stunning.
23rd Jun 2017 5:24pm
This moved me, and I don't know if I want to decipher precisely why or just experience it. You had me at "rain".
Anonymous
30th Jun 2017 5:39am
Whew, a pang that is heard loud
1st Mar 2018 5:56pm
The title killed me. cold.
the poem, just pure art. cold hard art.
beyond appreciation, the work.
the poem, just pure art. cold hard art.
beyond appreciation, the work.
