Fate that never changes

Always searching, never satisfied, always pushed to hate. Could be this life I choose is never balanced. Never enough pleasure unless it's everyday torture. Dreams that feel so real I'm stuck, deep nightmare, pushed manifestation. My soul is owned. It's never ending tunnel of darkness. I chose light and it's faded. Accused, pushed to nothing. There's more to the story, yet no seeks truth anymore. Nothing that surprises me anymore, those days of goals  burnt up long ago. Didn't think I'd make it past 21 and now dreaming of a families vision lost long ago. Wished my life away, they thought I was chosen, a force to cheat with. I've always been lost, unknowing for so long. Voice stolen. Victim in stories favored by the chosen. Hate growing. Time loser. Would be beautiful.