It Hits the Skin

         When I remember it all rushes back all at once  
 
Hits like a train  
   Crushed on impact  
Truth  
Lies  
Actions  
Memories  
   Things said  
            Things I should not have said  
 
      In the moments like today  
  I remember what happened so clear  
        I feel the weight of a murdered someone  
 
The floors smell like chemicals  
    And I'm on the clock  
 But it begins to creep in    
                                                     Please don't..not now  
From the lower of my throat  
To the       middle of my chest  
                         cold  
It aches and gnaws  
My eyes   burn  
      My ears ring like a train horn.  
  .   Slam   .  
                  
You were bleeding  
      And you stumbled  
  A moment of clarity  
I didnt see you run past      to what you thought was saftey  
 
My eyes and hands shook  
   It wouldn't come off  
No matter how much I washed them in my tears  
The bloodied knuckles  
 
I know what I did  
      I suffered  
I pleaded with you to listen  
    To stop  
                                          Why won't you let me go  
 
I cannot sleep without you trying to  
             drag me down  
                     to a place where we     belong  
 
          I'm on the clock  
So I'll clean up  
                            Everyone knows you are dead  
to me              
                                  Said it would get...easier  
   But they spoke with hope  
                                                        Not knowledge  
 
You don't feel a damn thing  
            And thats the sickest part  
of     you        
                                                  
                                                
 
 
                                                Oh. I know it is mother's day.