Living in Grey

For as long as was possible
I dismissed its existence
Like a shadow it followed me
Ever the champion of persistence
It gripped my warm heart
In its cold, grey grasp
No matter my efforts
There was no escaping the past

I still laughed but dared not a smile
There was no joy to draw from
I sang a sweet melody
Though my intent was all wrong
A master in my craft of fallacy
I deceived like no other
I stayed alone in the darkness
Wanting no help from a brother

The hole in my chest
Refused to be filled
No words would return them
Too much blood had been spilled
I wandered around
Like poor lost specter
My soul not be sated
Happiness gone from me forever

The worst part of it all
Was the act I would play
The face I wore for others
Where I lied I was okay
There was nothing to say
And even less to do
The gray that had seized me
Was what would stay and see me through

Going through the motions
Is what my life has become
Life’s purpose is stolen
I’m now alone till I’m done
I can’t help but wonder
At what point I will break
Where my mask will fall down
And they see my true state