Blood Boiling Illusion

He who is revisited time and time again is but only an illusion to place in emptiness....
He's empty...decaying slowly, and I stand holding the hand responsible for the cracks that scar my conditioned heart so he may not be lost to the earth alone.
If he'd loved me only a morsel of how much I loved him there would have been no need to stand on another's doorstep kissing as I was led to black sheets entangled flesh searching for love in the willing.
I loved him, but he loved only his self, I needed what his shallow, egotistical, heartless existence could not fathom and God Damnit I found it!!!....
Lost it....because he needed me...But where was he when I needed him to love me?
Anger boils as I sit and watch his slipping away again, I watch the love I found wrap itself around my patience as I tap the foot of impatiently waiting for my happily ever after...
But is a cheating heart destined to be cheated?
I wait...breathe..live for the day that will allow me the life...the dream...the illusion of love In the frigid air as you are allowed entrance to me once again.