Name Ownership

It all started before I was born
My parents were to name me
The name was amazing
I heard it through the belly
But before I was born
They changed my name
Into a name I will always bare
Tink Romero
That is me
Thomas was to be me
However every school
That I am put in
I throw words around
And tell them to call me this
"Thomas" I say
With amazement in my eyes
For not only did I tell my first lie
But a lie of my name as well
Secrets and identity
Was always my problem
At home I'm "Tink
At school it's another "T"
How did I live
It was easy
Just forget a life when I left
And remember my lines
However I choked on it today
Because a friend of mine had to know the truth
However I still lied
"My name is Tink Romero"
I wanted to say
But instead all that came out was
"Tink Romero was the name
My parents chose for me
However at last minute
They changed course
And named me Thomas"
And what my friend said after
Damaged me the most
"Tink would have suited you
It matches who you are
Thomas is an easy name to pick on
That is true
However I am glad you told me the truth
Now all I can say is hold on
Because others may not agree"
How am I to fix this issue
My friend didn't only believe my lie
He encouraged it
My heart skipped every beat that day
And I thought to myself
"Why am I like this
Every lie I tell makes me grin
Every false rumor makes me smile
Every fake things I said that is told around is bad
For it makes me laugh"
However what I just did
Was the worst of all
I couldn't help but cry
But instead I thought
And this thought was bad
Not for you but for me
Because this thought said
"Time to start a new fire
A fire that will forever scotch my friend
And leave the ashes on me"
Now I can't help but look at my friend
While I go down this path
Of evil and joy from within
It will hurt him, yes
But I will be beyond help
For what would you feel
If you knew you will hurt every friend you have
And what if every friend you make
They easily become close to you
And you learn their life and secrets
And yet I will repay them like the others
And do something that will throw them off
Kids say I'm weird
But if they know what I am inside
Then they won't be scared
They will be angry
Because for them to hear
A person makes friends just to put them down
Will pull their heart in two
They might be obnoxious and not there
But their heart will be on the right path
And say "Don't you dare pass that line!"
So instead I hide
Not as a coward
But as a trap
Because if I am unknown
Then my effect will have more cause
And then everything will fall apart
Not around me
But around them
And when they realize
Who set it up
It would be too late to hurt me
Because I would already be dead inside
Until I leave the school then
I will remain in this state
And when I enter a new school
I will start all over again
New school, New life
New life, New friends
New friends, New enjoyment
Yes I am considered evil inside
However I cannot help it
However this friend of mine
Has resisted my lies
And I like him for that
Because when I leave
I will leave with my sanity intact
Because my friend would be happy
And I will continue my path
And ounce he is left behind it
There won't be any turning back
It hurts me inside to know
We will forget each other
But mostly me
Because the only way for me to remember
Is too hurt my friend and look at their reactions
Because reactions speak louder on their face
And faces are the easiest thing to remember
So every time I remember my childhood
And everywhere I moved
I will remember them first with that reaction
Then of our fun
So my friend
Be ready to be forgotten
Because as soon as I leave
You will be thrown in the Memory Trash
And considered Spam
So please be glad that you lived through me
Because those who know me
Call me Story Written
Because deep down
They know
How I work and the reasons why
Only my friend who I hurt will know
The other kids will call me The Idiot
For treating my friends like that
However since I didn't hurt you
You will call me
"Tink Romero the friend who I will remember, and I will be okay even if he forgets me, because I will be there to remind him"
And it pains me to say
But that won't happen
Because then that means I can still hurt you
And even if I must
I will delete who you are in my head
But don't you worry
You don't always have to look over your shoulder
For me
Because you will live longer than me
Because who is too say
That I will live long enough to see my 16th birthday
And ounce I'm gone I will then look for you
From above or from below
I will find you
And tell you the truth
A truth that won't hurt
Because I would have dullen it
To the point to where you won't feel
The pinch that aches your heart
So then my friend, Travis, if you do find this poem you will know why your other friends look pained for every time you mention the years that will happen after 2020 and of course in all these stories it would have been you and I.
I trusted you friends to know the truth and to keep it from you
Because it is closing in very close
And I had to tell.
Now to those who read this poem
Here is a lesson
A name can change things within a child
So when you name it
Don't mention the other names you thought
Otherwise the Child will have to decide
Who it is
Name 1 or Name 2
The name isn't the problem
The identity that it hides is the problem.
So then I will say this
At home I'm Tink Romero
At school I'm Thomas
However the name I choose to be called
Is not the one chosen from school or from home
I chose to be named Story Written
Because my friends chose that name
Because they know who I really am inside
More than I can express in this poem
However here is the short of it
"I know how to live my life, because my life was already written, so I decided to play around with fate, and ask it to be my friend, fate was fun to be around until I did what I did, and now fate waits for me on whatever side I will be on to say "Hello there, want to be my friend?"