TAPED!

I've had the PI bug that room;
Be prepared to meet divorce doom!
Recording through the microphone
Has shown me you've not been alone!
I heard the creaks, off floor boards bare,
Suggesting someone's with you there.

The giggling and frantic kissing
As you unbuttoned, cast clothing;
The curtains drawn, switch-off of light,
The bed rocking into the night;
A duet sung in breaths and moans
Proceeding in loudening tones.

I heard a strange voice call your name,
And your voice reply, without shame,
With name of one I do not know:
"I LOVE YOU - I'M COMING - OH-OHHH!"
Frantically she joins your cry,
So breathless, sounded she would die.

Then it seemed to come to stop,
Then bodies on mattress did drop.
Like two dogs panting you draw breaths.
You said, "I've had the BEST of F's!"
Something you NEVER said to ME
In all years of matrimony.