deepundergroundpoetry.com
I walk in the night
On these sands of time; to see the sunrise over the ocean’s shores, hoping to hide the fear’s of this darken night; an the tears inside theses eyes. For my dream’s I have are gone, as I cry for the light of dawn; my heart breaks; as this lonely night won’t end. As I walk-in these sand’s of memories of another time; I see you and I with in this night’s sky; I begin to cry wondering why we all must die. As the sunrise’s the steam fills the morning sky; the sun begins to shine I can’t hind these tears in my eyes.
Published 23rd Aug 2011
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7th Dec 2011 4:24am
Emptyness,
very poignant and poetic.
I liked the poem a lot, getting used to the format was a little hard and i am wondering why you did not use some line breaks.
a couple of things concerning apostrophe words.
dreams, wont,sands,nights, need no apostrophe
*sunrise’s* might imply a number of sun rises rather than "as the sun rises"
that said, it's a very good poem.
very poignant and poetic.
I liked the poem a lot, getting used to the format was a little hard and i am wondering why you did not use some line breaks.
a couple of things concerning apostrophe words.
dreams, wont,sands,nights, need no apostrophe
*sunrise’s* might imply a number of sun rises rather than "as the sun rises"
that said, it's a very good poem.
