deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drowning
The ocean waves wildly
It rages against my repose
Smashing its liquid tentacles
Against my resolution
It spits into my eye
In challenge and insult
It seeks to flood chaos
Into my world
My will builds the walls
To hold the storm at bay
We are determined not
To drown
In our own ocean
(C) 2017 xmar82 All Rights Reserved
Published 26th Mar 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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26th Mar 2017 3:30am
26th Mar 2017 11:27pm
26th Mar 2017 10:10am
I really like the depictions. Especially "Liquid tentacles" and "It spits into my eyes".
The opening line though is a bit confusing. I believe when you use "wave" as a verb it means waving your hand. So to me it sounded like the ocean was just doing a friendly gesture.
I felt it messed a bit with the dramatic mood you were conveying so nicely.
Apart from that though i think the poem is great.
The opening line though is a bit confusing. I believe when you use "wave" as a verb it means waving your hand. So to me it sounded like the ocean was just doing a friendly gesture.
I felt it messed a bit with the dramatic mood you were conveying so nicely.
Apart from that though i think the poem is great.
26th Mar 2017 11:30pm
