Gone

You're gone now,M. You're gone. Earlier, I went through something similar to what we went through. Together. 2 years of it. It hurt, mostly because I'm not yours anymore & that level of whatever it is we had was ours. Though I walked away, I swore that I'd never allow someone else to bridge that gap. I call someone else 'Sir' now, because it's easier than calling him what I used to call you.

He's beautiful. Slightly older than you and way less cocksure; he's all I could ever need. He doesn't care about the race thing, you did. He doesn't want me sleeping around and returning to him like you did. He's not you for all the right reasons. I fell into the trap; was someone else's babygirl for a while.. but it stung. Everything aches deep inside; because that kind of dynamic shouldn't have happened.. and you should have happened, differently.

  I'm sorry,M. If you were around still I wouldn't have gone elsewhere, if you weren't married I wouldn't have strayed..
I'm sorry. I am someone else's now, and I can apologise for everything, but I won't apologise for the way he has chosen to give me his heart, to cherish and to adore. He is perfection; just like I thought you were. But he stayed, loyal, perfect and amazing. And you are gone.