Self Vulturing

 

What have I done

Breathing in fire when I work
Breathing barely when I speak to blood
Breath stoping when I think of you

This skin I barely fit in
Sewn together with barb wire
    Is it to keep things out or keep something in
And stuffed with tablet meth
      To give me a new face
   Inside and out

What was it all for

I cant live on my own
Or with others
 someone  gets hurt

Id rather it be me

Others hurt me recklessly
It is their will
And I am a host
A body shield
An infected isolated creature
With masks a dozen
-
What about pride
What about apprication
What about affection
For things like me,
Something geneticly made to meet failure and kill itself
These do not exsist without struggle and self suffering
-
Do I fool the main frame
At a crtical low
Do I tell myself im okay only to silence to alarms
Do I yell that i'm not violent when ripping away my skin
Do I pretend i'll live through this...
                                                            At most,  Yes.
         "Im proud of you"
                         "Thank you for everything"
  "I love you"
                                   -
                   "I loved you more than I could ever hate myself"
                 Im a liar  -  someone please destroy me.