The Passing of Edward

Martha was rudely awaken on Monday morning
With the phone call we all dread
“Mrs Palmer we regret to inform you
That your husband Edward is dead”

She thought that it was tactless
The way she had been told
Couldn’t they have said ‘passed away'?
Instead of being so bold

She dressed in her Sunday best
It took her ages to get ready
But she wanted to make an effort
For her dear, departed Eddie

When she arrived at the hospital
She was taken to the ward
Attached to the bed on a bulldog clip
Was Edward Palmer’s medical record

Edward was lying in the bed
He just looked like he was asleep
Martha took his hand in hers
And she began to weep

The patients in adjoining beds
Said staff had had to disinfect
Because Edward had taken short
Had they no respect?

Martha sat at the bedside and said
“My husband has passed away”
The patients resumed watching TV
And didn’t know what to say

A nurse arrived and said
“It’s a shame that you weren’t here
When he was asking for you
It’s a pity you don't live near

Don’t worry though cos I was here
He didn’t die alone
Whenever we tried to phone you
All we got was an engaged tone”

Martha suddenly remembered
The umpteenth pointless phone calls
To the lazy ‘cowboy builders'
Meant to be pointing her garden walls

Every time she phoned them
It wasn’t any use
Sometimes her complaints would be met
By an endless torrent of abuse

The nurse jolted Martha from her daydream
By tapping her on the shoulder
She glanced down at Edward
And noticed he suddenly looked years older

Martha said “I’ll be lost without him”
And the nurse gave her a wry smile
Then said “Some people will be coming for Edward
In just a little while

He’ll have to be moved
Because we really need the bed”
Martha recalled the other day
A pillow still bearing the shape of a deceased patients head

Martha said “I feel so lost
I don’t know what to do”
The nurse put her hand on Martha’s shoulder and said
“The receptionist has something for you”

Martha kissed Edward's forehead
And said “My darling I must go
I just hope you knew
How much I loved you so”

She wanted to remember Edward
When he was full of life
Now she was a widow
No longer someone's wife

She waited in reception
Listening to the constant chatter
She wondered how long she'd be waiting
Though now time didn’t matter

The receptionist slid the glass aside
And placed a plastic bag in Martha’s hand
She could see it contained Edward's spectacles and dentures
And in one corner his gold wedding band

Martha returned to an empty house
And received not a single phone call
Of condolence or sympathy
Just one from the builders about pointing the wall