Mestring.

The idea of belonging...
How do you belong?.
Why belong?

I want to be free,
Unchained from the general consensus.
Freedom to be myself.

To be free I at first must understand that I cannot. Nor will not be chastised by your fucking way of life.
No more can I sit and explain my self to your sales of 1-10.

           How was your week?


                      Do you feel well?

Are you well?





No I am not fucking well.






I am choking on my lack ability



I cannot love.
The thought of affection scares the shit out of me.
Crying for a safe place in which my thoughts can be clear.


On a scale of 1-10 how safe do you feel?

I just fucking told you. I am not.

Not from them,
Not from your judgement


          Not from me.

I am going to kill myself.


Do you want to die?

NO! BUT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING IT WILL BE THE ONLY WAY OUT.


Does anything help?

No.
Especially not you.




Secretly I hope that these hours help.
That one day I walk out of here with a feeling of release.
Feeling like I learnt something.
How to cope.



I hope I learn to cope.