I will not be back

Only my sleep now reminds
Of all those days are gone
It's not just fear that blinds
But also inability to move on

Yes it was not that long ago
The picture is not dry yet
But I can't see myself there, no
I left it, I have no regret

Chances of repeat are very high
To throw it all away I'd want
But I'm afraid one day it might
Ruin me inside, I'm not so strong

I know there are those who will wait
I won't be left outside like homeless
I ask and they will be here the same
Willing to forgive but hopeless

But, oh, I don't want it so
To go there even in my sleep
I'd rather go with you to the unknown
Than stay here, where my roots are deep

How long is the way? No counting
You're in front, I'm behind but near
You turn back rarely laughing
Asking if I am there and I keep

I can see them watching silent
What for is this, is this a game
But I lived long in their world violent
Now I want to take my reign

That's not good, I betrayed them all
Stepping to that unclear goal
I can't see who's friend or foe
But I see you and you're my world