Pleasure and pain

I don't feel much anymore other than pain and pleasure. The pain that I hide is like a monster that lurks in my consciousness. Pain will let you know who you are. It doesn't take long to dig and tear at the memories you do have. Nothing will make this pain go away.

Pleasure comes in many forms for guys like me. I look for what I think will be pleasureful. Whether it be the touch of a beautiful woman or a sunset painted just for me to enjoy.

What do we do when the pleasures that we once had always turned to pain? Is the risk worth the reward? Or do we just stop looking for pleasure? For me I'll never stop searching for my pleasure cause sometimes it out weighs the pain.