deepundergroundpoetry.com

gasoline

why do we romanticize pain
we paint portraits of heartbreak
like it is something beautiful
we sing songs of it
and write stories about it
and we make ourselves believe
that it is something beautiful
it is not beautiful
it is messy and confusing

we set fire to our bones
for people who will watch us burn
we cloud our souls in the smoke
so we cannot see how wrong it is
to break for somebody
who won't even try to fix you

i've heard breakups described
as "burning out too soon"
as though the love we feel
is a fire that can only last so long
and maybe it is
maybe our emotions are the fire
and the smoke hides all the problems
until we realise all that is left of us
is ashes of what we thought we could be

so we try our best to ignore the heat
crawling through our spine
and melting away at our thoughts
as we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves
that this is what we wanted
that we meant for this to happen

when you saw the spark in their eyes
and wondered what would happen
if it were held to the gasoline in your chest
you thought you could control the flame
but it grew out of control
and you found yourself with no choice
but to stand and smile as you burned up

with no choice but to watch
as the one with what-ifs on their lips
and sparks in their eyes
grew wary of your dying flame
and moved onto the next gasoline heart