What could have been..

I sit here and ponder on those days.
 
I think about you and I think about him I think about now and what could have been.
 
I think about life and I think about love and I think what of happened when push came to shove.
 
I feel like a child in need of attention but my hearts desires never reach full ascension.
 
My mind and my soul are at war with my heart and no matter the progress I'm back at the start.
 
I can't forget everything thus far but I feel like Im dead and I've burnt out like a beautiful star.
 
On the outside I am fine but on the inside I am burning and no matter how hard I try I can not stop this yearning.
 
A yearning for love or a yearning for death? I gave all I had my life and my breath.
 
Our love was like suicide except I was the only one who died, I died with my heart alone in my hand all the while thinking of what could have been.