Submissions by BabyGirl94

I gave you a chance i took my already broken and shattered heart and patched it up just for you.

You weren't what i wanted or what i had in mind but i thought you would be good for me and maybe for once i could be what someone else needed too.

I tried to live in a relationship that wasn't really there i tried to form a love with you even though i could never fully love you anyway.

I thought you were what i needed but i was wrong you were a distraction i was trying to make into something else.

I think i could have learned to settle but would i ever...

I never get enough attention and never enough love, I need to feel I'm wanted but i never feel fulfilled.

Why am i so needy, am i not satisfied with myself? I need the attention of others or i lose my mind.

I drive people away with my behavior and nobody seems to stay past the problems and see what there is to love.

I feel like I'm doomed to be alone to scare eveyone away, i try so hard to be different but this feeling won't leave.

Im tired of depending on love and attention from people who don't or won't try to be with me for me...

The days grow shorter and my instability is starting to surface. My mental incapability is becoming a regular everyday nuisance as i struggle to find meaning in my bleak existence. Life holds no excitement and certainly no comfort for me in these days to come. I look at things through the eyes of an alien who is looking at these emotions that are so foreign they can not possibly be understood. My feelings, my emotions, they seem to be cold and fleeting. The only thing i can rely on to stay is that feeling of never ending sadness and despair, my mind is empty and my heart is barely beating....

For as long as i can remember I have never been myself, I look at the mirror where i know i should be but all i see is a vacant forlorn shell. I try to fit into these boxes for others that are way too constricting but i contort who i am to fit upon their shelves. I give my whole self completely and never choose me, I am a slave to my weakness... the feeling of being needed. But not because I am me but because I am easily molded into who they want me to be. Don't be yourself be this person to please me and ill give you whatever i think that person needs. Who am I and why am I not myself?

I sit here and ponder on those days.

I think about you and I think about him I think about now and what could have been.

I think about life and I think about love and I think what of happened when push came to shove.

I feel like a child in need of attention but my hearts desires never reach full ascension.

My mind and my soul are at war with my heart and no matter the progress I'm back at the start.

I can't forget everything thus far but I feel like Im dead and I've burnt out like a beautiful star.

On the outside I am...