deepundergroundpoetry.com
broken moon sangria
the moon was broken
the sangria was sweet
did we worry about it then?
we marched to the sound
of the drums that beat
in the hearts of lusty men!
there were battles to fight
there were women to love
and the dreams that set our course.
we would conquer the day
with the valor of heroes
and without regret or remorse.
but the road winds thru hell
and fate is a tiger
with a taste for a dour man's meat.
the mountain repelled us
and the sea overwhelmed us
we were battered and lost in defeat.
we are nomads still
in a blistering land
and the Lord our souls may keep!
but we long for the warmth
of a feathery bed
and the women who wait...
and weep.
(Artist unknown)
Published 12th Jan 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 19
reading list entries 5
comments 15
reads 1414
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Jan 2017 11:19am
You take us there, John, and the pen is your weapon.
A soldier's march,
overwhelming battles and the
soft touch of a woman in their hearts....
Truly amazing piece...
A soldier's march,
overwhelming battles and the
soft touch of a woman in their hearts....
Truly amazing piece...
12th Jan 2017 1:55pm
Great poem, really like some of the ways you constructed your lines. Reads and flows very nice.
12th Jan 2017 5:15pm
12th Jan 2017 6:29pm
I always love to be surprised when I open a poem by one of my followed writers.
This is my favorite type of verse to recite aloud - the rhythm, cadence, and flow
are all excellent, John. I love the ee resistance to capitalization.
In reference to the content, it bears your signature though a somewhat different
vein subject. I still see you in there, marching along with the rest - but I see you
from another perspective.
This is my favorite type of verse to recite aloud - the rhythm, cadence, and flow
are all excellent, John. I love the ee resistance to capitalization.
In reference to the content, it bears your signature though a somewhat different
vein subject. I still see you in there, marching along with the rest - but I see you
from another perspective.
12th Jan 2017 7:49pm
More lyrical (with its bounce) than Your norm John!!!
The perfect mesh of light and dark!!!
The perfect mesh of light and dark!!!
Anonymous
13th Jan 2017 00:16am
John, when I open a write of yours in a different format other than your norm, I am always more eager...hmm...I find that odd...I am eager with all your writes when I see them in my updates but when I see this, done very rarely it blows me away at its continued perfection just as your others...and in this one, yes...it would be the end that gets me...I'm sure to no surprise ;) With love, always - Kitten xoxo
You have a knack for great, meaningful endings, that's so evident in this one....
13th Jan 2017 3:39am
13th Jan 2017 9:34am
this is written differently from many of your poems, why? i don't see the "&" here too ... sorry if it is a silly question/comment...
13th Jan 2017 11:45am
I like getting different ideas & developing them; the '&' didn't fit here, just a technical thing...
13th Jan 2017 1:12pm
again, thanks for the answer, it helps me in understanding your process esp being one of dup's most popular poets. cheers!
Anonymous
13th Jan 2017 10:48am
love this.
it is you
& yet it is not.
your brilliance suffuses
these verses still.
it's a keeper
xo
it is you
& yet it is not.
your brilliance suffuses
these verses still.
it's a keeper
xo
14th Jan 2017 4:25am
Fantastic JohnFeddeler ... I appreciate the style you chose... still painting a vivid scene ... beautiful as always ...
14th Jan 2017 11:25pm
just love this John reminds of Flecker's pilgrims on the road to samarkand
but with your hard/frost bitten romance - as good as anything anywhere
but with your hard/frost bitten romance - as good as anything anywhere
Ahhh-so, Sir John! ✍
I happened across this poem onsite as a submittal for June Poem Of The Month, and followed it to here.
Seeing you'd listed it as "(Artist unknown)", and I recognizing this excellent piece and its unusual title as one I'd read years before on another site I joined in 1998, I thought you'd be interested to know the poem was written and copyrighted in 2013, by a master poet, pen name of FadedBlues.
URL Reference: https://darkpoetry.org/poem/174442
Now, we know and you can it display with its author's pen name.
A poem I always admired … thank you, Sir, for sharing it with us all! ⁓ Richard 🍃
I happened across this poem onsite as a submittal for June Poem Of The Month, and followed it to here.
Seeing you'd listed it as "(Artist unknown)", and I recognizing this excellent piece and its unusual title as one I'd read years before on another site I joined in 1998, I thought you'd be interested to know the poem was written and copyrighted in 2013, by a master poet, pen name of FadedBlues.
URL Reference: https://darkpoetry.org/poem/174442
Now, we know and you can it display with its author's pen name.
A poem I always admired … thank you, Sir, for sharing it with us all! ⁓ Richard 🍃
