Forever Changed

I heard the footsteps coming,
And I knew this would be another long night.
And something inside me screamed this time,
It really isn’t right.

The words he was saying,
Were ruthless and cruel.
And each time he hit me I sat there,
And obeyed each and every rule.

I sat there blank faced and scared,
Knowing that I couldn’t cry.
For I knew what would happen,
If he saw the tears in my eyes

Each and every swing,
Felt worse and worse,
And then all I wanted was,
To be dead in a hearse.

He got real close and whispered,
“Bitch I wish you weren’t alive”.
And all I was thinking was you’re right,
I wish I wouldn’t survive.

He threw me against the wall,
Then proceeded to pin me to the ground.  
He hit me again, covered my mouth,
Not letting me make a sound.

I started to struggle and tried to,
Release myself of his forceful grip.
Then the next thing I heard,
Was a loud, horrifying rip.

His hands were cold,
And I cringed at first touch.
I don’t understand how a father,
Could hate his daughter so much.

I froze and I couldn’t believe,
That this was really going on.
I just kept looking at the clock,
Wanting him to be gone.

I tried so badly not to,
Think of the sharp pain.
And this wasn’t part of,
His usual game.

I closed my eyes wishing,
The time would just pass by.
And that next time I opened them,
I would be up in the sky.

He pushed harder and harder,
And excruciating pain was all I felt.
The next thing I heard was,
The unbuckling of his belt

Something happened inside of me,
That I can not explain.
I got this surge of energy,
And said “fuck you and your reign”.

Somehow, someway,
I got out just in time.
But what he had already done,
Will never get out of my mind.

From then on my life,
Has been forever changed.
It was like all I knew,
Had been rearranged.

I hate him with everything,
I have in me and so much more
And one day I want to,
End this war.