Happier New Year

 It is nice to get numerous “Happy New Year” wishes
With most people it’s coming from a good place
They genuinely hope that your new year will be happy
They’re fond wish is that you only get good things
Some wishes I have had have been, realistically, prayers
Some people say it without really thinking about it
Most wish you glad tidings whether or not you deserve them
This got me to thinking;
What would make this year for me truly happy?

To get a blow job at least once a week
To uppercut a parrot right in the beak

As much Ice cream as I could want to eat
To stop eating vegetables and just eat meat

To go to Disneyland, Paris, France
To put my hands inside Goofy’s pants

To witness Jeremy Kyle getting shot in the head
To join in and fire making sure he was dead

To smoke hash for breakfast, lunch and dinner
To enter a poetry competition and finally become a winner

To finally publish a best selling poetry book
To become the first amputee television cook

To see Bill Clinton sexually assault Donald Trump
And Hilary defend him refusing to dump

To see Nigel Farage at the end of a rope
And revealed that the Queen is a smoker of dope

I would forego all of these
And wear a happier mask
If just my legs would grow back
Is that too much to fuckin ask


Happy New Year to all who have earned it