deepundergroundpoetry.com
Echo of a love song
I used to believe loneliness was hidden away
and sequestered to places touched only by austere obscurity,
until I found Him. He was lost, a soldier without a battle,
his own worst enemy and one more displaced soul
in a flowing sea of false smiles.
He spoke of florid sunrise as he spoke of a desolate loneliness,
and had found it reflected in the faces of those around him.
He taught me that loneliness can find you anywhere,
even in the most beautiful of places, and we are all created equally
when it claims another casualty. I tasted his sadness
like raindrops on an impetuous wind
and it was exquisite upon my trembling lips.
But what does a tenuous woman like me
have to offer a man whose subdued erudition
has the doleful mourn of a jailed harmonica?
My heart; my aberrant heart...
I gave it, knowing his had been broken
and he carries it laudably, keeping it close to his own.
It hangs from a steel-balled chain, rocking gently
against letters etched in stainless avowal.
And when the rythym is just right, we beat together as one.
We dream in color. We dance, claiming the floor
at our favorite bar. The dulcet tones of a piano
drift through smokey lamp light at the The Blue Derby,
like the ghosts of our fractured memories. In a place with an
atmosphere as blue as the name, we dance.
and sequestered to places touched only by austere obscurity,
until I found Him. He was lost, a soldier without a battle,
his own worst enemy and one more displaced soul
in a flowing sea of false smiles.
He spoke of florid sunrise as he spoke of a desolate loneliness,
and had found it reflected in the faces of those around him.
He taught me that loneliness can find you anywhere,
even in the most beautiful of places, and we are all created equally
when it claims another casualty. I tasted his sadness
like raindrops on an impetuous wind
and it was exquisite upon my trembling lips.
But what does a tenuous woman like me
have to offer a man whose subdued erudition
has the doleful mourn of a jailed harmonica?
My heart; my aberrant heart...
I gave it, knowing his had been broken
and he carries it laudably, keeping it close to his own.
It hangs from a steel-balled chain, rocking gently
against letters etched in stainless avowal.
And when the rythym is just right, we beat together as one.
We dream in color. We dance, claiming the floor
at our favorite bar. The dulcet tones of a piano
drift through smokey lamp light at the The Blue Derby,
like the ghosts of our fractured memories. In a place with an
atmosphere as blue as the name, we dance.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 3
comments 23
reads 1032
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Echo of a love song
26th Dec 2016 1:28pm
I can feel the dancing, Kas, in the smoke
& the music & whatever is blue;
swaying among the ghosts...
& the music & whatever is blue;
swaying among the ghosts...
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
Yes, John,
escaping the loneliness
in the hazy sway of the bluest place
we can find...
escaping the loneliness
in the hazy sway of the bluest place
we can find...
Re. Echo of a love song
Anonymous
26th Dec 2016 2:11pm
I hope you will continue to give each other happiness. Superbly written poem, the way you have described the lonely echoes is really quite breathtaking.
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
26th Dec 2016 6:59pm
Re. Echo of a love song
Anonymous
26th Dec 2016 4:21pm
Such a beautiful piece. 💓
Your imagery is exceptional, and the emotions are deeply felt.
My heart was smiling, while reading every word.
Your imagery is exceptional, and the emotions are deeply felt.
My heart was smiling, while reading every word.
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
26th Dec 2016 7:01pm
Re. Echo of a love song
26th Dec 2016 8:03pm
What an absolutely stunning write laced with deep emotion and excellent imagery, Kas. You're the female counter to Feddeler - the yin to the yang. I would love to see you two write a book one day.
2
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
27th Dec 2016 5:46am
What a wonderful thing to say, Ahavati, left me blushing.
And I'm honored to be placed in the same catagory
with a talented guy like, John.
A book-what an interesting thought...
Truly honored by your lovely words, kind lady...
And I'm honored to be placed in the same catagory
with a talented guy like, John.
A book-what an interesting thought...
Truly honored by your lovely words, kind lady...
Re. Echo of a love song
Anonymous
27th Dec 2016 3:47am
Kasai, your words as always weave and dance for me in a shade of lavender...an almost periwinkle blue...and with lines like this, how could they not...exquisite...
"The dulcet tones of a piano
drift through smokey lamp light at the The Blue Derby,
like the ghosts of our fractured memories."
xoxo Taryn
"The dulcet tones of a piano
drift through smokey lamp light at the The Blue Derby,
like the ghosts of our fractured memories."
xoxo Taryn
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
27th Dec 2016 5:53am
Such a sweet lady...
Love those lavender blues, very beautiful.
You've left me with smiles, Taryn, thank you so much
for those lovely words of yours...
Love those lavender blues, very beautiful.
You've left me with smiles, Taryn, thank you so much
for those lovely words of yours...
Re. Echo of a love song
27th Dec 2016 4:18pm
You describe your emotions so beautifully and powerfully. You bring them to life and inscribe them in memory in glorious color. I love reading your work, Kasai. :)
Willow
Willow
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
27th Dec 2016 8:50pm
Aw, thank you, Willow. You always manage to make me smile.
Absolutely love seeing your comments on my pages...
Absolutely love seeing your comments on my pages...
Re. Echo of a love song
28th Dec 2016 5:59am
That whole third paragraph and the reference to the heart as a ' steel balled chain rocking gently ' is a really creative poetic image that gives this poem added intensity and depth of meaning.... The whole poem is very meaningful and well written.....
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
28th Dec 2016 8:50pm
The steel balled chain was my way of referencing a soldier's dog tags, the way they rest over his heart.
So glad you liked it, thanks for the great comment and, RL.
So glad you liked it, thanks for the great comment and, RL.
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
Wow that's amazing.. I didn't even think of that ( I thought it was a satyrical ball and chain reference ) ....
1
Re. Echo of a love song
29th Dec 2016 2:48pm
There's a lot of this going around... echoes cross the barrier of sound until they moan like a choir of imprisoned blues harps...
Great write, I feel every word!
Great write, I feel every word!
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
29th Dec 2016 11:06pm
Imprisoned blues harps, nice, and yes,
there does seem to be a lot of this going around.
I appreciate the great comment, thanks
for the visit...
there does seem to be a lot of this going around.
I appreciate the great comment, thanks
for the visit...
Re. Echo of a love song
31st Dec 2016 9:08am
Such a beautiful Ode to the one who holds your heart...
Your words are mesmerizing, Kasai!
Your words are mesmerizing, Kasai!
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
31st Dec 2016 9:59am
Re. Echo of a love song
2nd Jan 2017 7:51pm
Been awhile Kasai, and your poetry is still invasively sensual.. It's graceful
and takes us many places.
Will
and takes us many places.
Will
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
2nd Jan 2017 10:31pm
Re. Echo of a love song
4th Jan 2017 10:29am
He taught me that loneliness can find you anywhere,
even in the most beautiful of places
Such truth and beauty in your words...It is with great sadness that I read your last lines as you also always leave me wanting more. Great work!
even in the most beautiful of places
Such truth and beauty in your words...It is with great sadness that I read your last lines as you also always leave me wanting more. Great work!
1
Re: Re. Echo of a love song
4th Jan 2017 10:51am
So very sweet of you, Helena, your lovely comments are a pleasure to read on my pages.
Thanks for sharing them with me...
Thanks for sharing them with me...