when I suddenly felt you

Hullo  
 
nice, upbeat. rhymes do a lot to help the pleasant feel. I read it in four line bars and I think they held it together pretty well. ( can be suprising how much one extra syllable could mess up a rhythm )  
 
I thought force and backwards were a pretty good match-up sound-wise  
 
couple of tiny things: didn't quite understand some of the first couple of lines:  
 
I felt your arm  
Organs vibrating  
taking your form  
 
and the word 'can' doesn't need to be in this line  
 
" so it can grew "  
 
but, all in  grand job. enjoyed  

Hallo lepperochan thank you for commenting and reading
As far as for the first lines, there is a very specific meaning of that particular moment described but the picture is up to you to create
It's a try to express literal body sensations in fantasy
taking your form like embracing your 'form' intensely that eventually it takes your form

Well... I admit I hadn't read it in four line bars at all... then I saw the Leps comments and went back for another read and oh yes! It's a different read that way. Brilliant!

Yeah I agree with the "can't" edit. It reads much smoother now.

You might want to look at "feminine" - small thing but it changes the meaning.

Stellar write Like it a lot!

Thanks for the read friendy

Al-x-

Thank you soooo! Yes feminine I meant thanks for correcting me I appreciate it so much
Its like we are all co-creators
Everything around put a little piece for each poem, bigger or smaller
Credits to everything and everyone

In this piece I felt strong sensuality that only few poets, like you, can write quite elegantly. the personification of running planets is quite fun. I felt that your ending lines, specifically the last 4 lines, were a bit weak because of their rhyming words. My favorite words are

"They taught me love
seen by the few
watered my heart
so it grew."

thank you so much for your kind comment !
xDthe end is my favorite