Photographs

Lying awake at night, unable to sleep
Bored and suffocating in the dark, lying so still
my mind roaming, thinking. thinking way too deep.
Just want some silence so I can catch some sleep.
I turn on the light and rummage for my phone,
no other entertainment now that I'm alone.
Instead I find an old file deep where nobody looks,
photographs I now wish I never took.
Hurtful memories come forward from the depths of my mind,
how could I have been so naïve and blind?
All the memories make me angry
as I remember,  boy do I remember...

The time when I was someone's property,
no control and too much responsibility
too much for eighteen to handle.
These photographs look happy,
but looks are deceiving to the naïve and gullible.
The scar of the knife that was twisted and twisted in my heart
now throbs painfully at the sight of these shots.
The pain of staring death in the eye,
of so much loss, of living that lie.

My hands tremble at the photographs
A cold chill runs down my spine and the pain in my heart stops
as I see the last photograph...
The one where I died inside and forgot how to laugh,
I forgot how to love...
The hurt runs too deep to get it back,
I guess that's why my heart is black
with hatred and hurt and a solid brick wall.
As I watch these photographs burn
I realise that part of me that died will never return
Only then do my eyes feel heavy and into slumber do I finally fall...