deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pointless
Past burdens are
haunting me
though thoughts of you
I know are a con
and I'm a delusional prey
paralyzed simply
by your name
emotions still at your alter
I dare not muster a breath
the whole of me is
repulsively greedy
the hole in me renders my
need into a frenzy
damned if I succumb these
torturous feelings
steady at my soul
knifing through my mistakes
dismantling the entirety of
my hearts sobriety
lapsing into cataclysmic
cycles
and endless suffering
a meaningless disaster
my hopes
are dark and disturbed
an unknown blessing on your part
that it's an existence
I'm not willing to chase after
haunting me
though thoughts of you
I know are a con
and I'm a delusional prey
paralyzed simply
by your name
emotions still at your alter
I dare not muster a breath
the whole of me is
repulsively greedy
the hole in me renders my
need into a frenzy
damned if I succumb these
torturous feelings
steady at my soul
knifing through my mistakes
dismantling the entirety of
my hearts sobriety
lapsing into cataclysmic
cycles
and endless suffering
a meaningless disaster
my hopes
are dark and disturbed
an unknown blessing on your part
that it's an existence
I'm not willing to chase after
Published 24th Nov 2016
| Edited 25th Nov 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 5
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Nov 2016 11:52pm
25th Nov 2016 7:56am
Yes I agree especially that ending... It felt like a warning that IF the darkness was embraced the
object of your 'reflection' could be in for some serious pain... excellent emotional gravity!
object of your 'reflection' could be in for some serious pain... excellent emotional gravity!
25th Nov 2016 1:24pm
25th Nov 2016 6:55pm
though thoughts of you
I know are a con
and I'm a delusional prey
paralyzed simply
by your name (How intensely powerful)
dismantling the entirety of
my hearts sobriety
lapsing into cataclysmic
cycles
and endless suffering (Shock and awe paints ineffability on my face)
And, I'm left stuttering, "damn!!" in my mind.
What a brilliant write!
As for honest critique, this seems, to me at least, about as perfect as they come, but, maybe drop a "d" on the end of "disturbe".
I know are a con
and I'm a delusional prey
paralyzed simply
by your name (How intensely powerful)
dismantling the entirety of
my hearts sobriety
lapsing into cataclysmic
cycles
and endless suffering (Shock and awe paints ineffability on my face)
And, I'm left stuttering, "damn!!" in my mind.
What a brilliant write!
As for honest critique, this seems, to me at least, about as perfect as they come, but, maybe drop a "d" on the end of "disturbe".
3rd Dec 2016 5:30pm
Ahhh .; . . What an utterly foaming at the mouth
write demeaning yourself as you regurgitate what
has been seething inside your thoughts like for
quite awhile. I use words like regurgitate and
foaming at the mouth because the poem reminds
me of so many of my own poems of trying to make
sense of things.
