If only

I love the person I've become but I hate my soul just trying to get through today without smoking a bowl . it started with weed at the age of ten than it quickly progressed to time in  the pen . if only I stayed away from that crack pipe at thirteen . than I would have had to tell my mom no I want to stay clean . A relationship between a mother and child based on crack cocaine  yes it was my own thinking that influenced my brain . crystal and black seemed harmless at the time , but I truly know in my heart if I don't quit soon nobody will want to remember MY rhyme . its times like this I long for true love , in my eyes true love is nothing but drugs