When a song about myself turns into a poem about him

 Someday I can only wish
That my painting will lay me in eternal rest
My razor-blade brush will go so deep
to carve my bone
to release my spirit from this carcass prison

I cannot recall when I stopped smiling
I do not remember when I started my art form

But do you not realize that the only ecstasy I receive is when I bleed?

I've tried to long to hide behind a veil

And I think after this long battle
The demons may have won

All the unfinished goodbye letters
All the sleepless nights

Times where I have considered
Ending it in one swipe

My Art is my escape
As gory as it may be

I am fat
I am uninteresting
I am ugly
I am weird

I hate all these things, I realized after some time
My body
My face
And even my mind

I remember how I yearned for silence
From all the screams of how terrible I am
I wanted Solitude

One day the string unraveled the rest of the way
leaving me bare
ready to leave once and for all

My demons were ready to drag me down
I took a breath
And I was..
I was ready to drown

I floated away
In a pool of peace
Ready to let go
to be released

When I felt something grab my hand
Pull me to the surface again

Where everything was once was dark
Was now full of light

Where everything once was dead
Was now full of life

When he kissed me, the voices fell silent

I am pretty
I am wanted
I am loved

And I love him