SHADOWBOX

I wake
in the bleak,
somber darkness.
It is black
and cold,
yet I sweat
as I lie here trembling.
I'm in a box.
A cold,
dark,
lonely box.
I blink my eyes
and try to stare at my surroundings,
but I see nothing.
Nothing but emptiness
and black,
inky darkness.
I feel like I am sinking.
Not a feeling that is inside of myself,
like you get when nothing is going right
and you feel like everything is sliding quickly downhill,
but from the outside.
The box is sinking
with me hidden away inside,
to the bottom of an icy,
dark ocean.
The walls of the box are closing in on me.
They are right on top of me,
and beside me,
like they are preparing to crush me into nothingness.
Still unable to see,
I try to touch them
and hold them back,
but I cannot.
My arms lie paralyzed at my sides.
I try to kick them
but my feet only twitch uncontrollably.
I close my eyes
and try to calm my breathing.
Will I run out of air
before the walls crush me into dust?
I awaken
as the box slowly
and gently
settles into the mud at the bottom of this deep,
unlit ocean.
Silence.
nearly complete
and perfect,
except for the beating of my heart,
pounding heavily between my ears
and echoing in my skull,
and fear.
The sound of fear seems to be coming from the corners
and tiny voids that are hidden throughout my box
and from deep inside my very tired,
aching head.
There is so much fear inside.
A gripping,
paralyzing,
terrifying fear.
This is not a fear of pain,
or of dying,
or of being held prisoner in a confining
black pine box,
but a fear of loneliness.
Complete,
sad,and utterly terrifying loneliness.