deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stress
A husband and a wife
Stress fills there life
Clothes drop to the floor
They lock the bedroom door
Skin on skin, passion grows
Kissing, touching, nibbles, blows
Breathing heavy with each thrust
To each their pleasure they do entrust
In the end their toes are curled
For now lost in their perfect world
Each day is filled with many a chore
The stress will begin to build once more
When it does this groom and bride
will once again in each other abide
Stress fills there life
Clothes drop to the floor
They lock the bedroom door
Skin on skin, passion grows
Kissing, touching, nibbles, blows
Breathing heavy with each thrust
To each their pleasure they do entrust
In the end their toes are curled
For now lost in their perfect world
Each day is filled with many a chore
The stress will begin to build once more
When it does this groom and bride
will once again in each other abide
Published 1st Aug 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Aug 2011 4:47pm
I've read both your poems. I must stress, I admire your reason for being here, but I must state one thing: I think that rhyming and erotica should be kept apart. If there is a mass of tension within you, I would let it flow on to the page. I get the impression that the strict rhyme-scheme you follow is holding you back.
2nd Aug 2011 8:32pm
Thanks for your input. I am pretty sure that what I think of as erotic is probably more subdued than most of the authors on this site. When I fantasize it is not about anything out of the ordinary but more just an unfullfilled but realistic desire. The rhymes just come and I think they flow but maybe more for me and less for others. Maybe some will enjoy it, who knows. I will definitely consder what you recommend.
