Tortured soul

 
 
Only in the darkest hours can I find my soul.
Only when I am falling can I see the rope, but I cannot take a hold.
When I hit rock bottom, I kneel alone;
I am scared to death of failing to live, but I have no desire to go.
 
 
When all is dark and I am without hope,
I find myself, the tortured soul.
When all is gone and the silence becomes deafening;
Only then can I believe I have done what I need to do and so…
 
 
With the lights turned out and no light to be found,
I am able to find the way inside my soul and write it all down.
When all is lost and apathy is my only friend;
I find a way to drown.
 
 
I sink to the bottom and I can find the peace I seek;
No noise to be heard, no vision to be seen.
Only beneath the surface am I truly free;
No feeling a necessity, no compulsion to breathe.
 
 
Inside I am able to escape reality;
Outside I am forced to hear and to see.
Within my dreams I am immortal, super human and unique.
Without foolish needs, I can make myself happy.
 
 
If only I was able to live a life of fantasy;
Maybe I would be able to erase this nightmare
And pretend this life is just a dream.
 
 
Somehow worth it;
Picture perfect.
 
 
(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.