From a fallen angel to an angel blessed with light

"This is the only way", I whisper to myself blade in hand as I begin to climb the stairs that'll lead me to the roof. Nothing, there's nothing, not a single thing that'll make me stay, I can't stay not with him dead, not with the pain not when i don't have a reason to live anymore. Because he stolen away all of the pain with his love his amazingly  dark gaze with the way he spoke how he always remained calm but.... he left me he swore he'd never leave never do anything that'd result in his death but he did. He was and is my brother but .... DEAD....DEAD....DEAD.... he's still dead now isn't he? Wait what's that.... that burning sensation that feels good i look down only to realize i slit my wrists and cut up and down my arms. Tears burned down my face, I was breaking them breaking every swear and promise I've ever had to make him. I found myself looking down down at the same place where he had died I watched the cars zooming back and forth and listened to the honking of the impatient drivers in the midst of traffic it's only fitting right that i die in the same place he did. No it's not it's pathetic, I'm pathetic, he died trying to save someone from themselves from a suicide but the women whom he was trying to save shot him by accident of course it's always a god damn accident. I continued to stare down at all the people in traffic. Than i looked up to see someone staring at me no not a someone, a something it seemed almost ghost like, but wait he looked exactly like.... my brother. He looked at me with that brotherly gaze that would say that i shouldn't do something or that gaze that would attempt to look through me to help he held out his hand as though he meant to take something from me... But what.... What did he want.... Then not for the first time this night i found the blade dangerously close to my vain, tears welled up in my eyes, gently and tentatively he reached out and took the blade from my hand and  threw it so it was out of my reach then he pulled me close and hugged me. I took comfort in his arms and in his strength but how could this be happening i saw him die, more tears began to fall, gently he pushed me away from the edge of the roof top.