the cat people tarot tells me how to do my job

 

forgiveness is selfish

      costVbenefit
comfortVpain
no room for sly altruism
spidered into the corner of my office
confuse me like before

a man's poems
he gave me for free
but took my time for it:
slipped anti-establishment rhymes into my head
for not even a coffee

i am blithe
unappreciative

i'm deaf and blind and dizzy
skipping through wreckage
dancing t' roadwork drill
calling myself a leaflet
(disobeying the air currents)
sleeping too long

a man's number
i lost in the rain
will not cost me 24.10
if i have anything to do

everyone wants my umbrella
to stand under
looking eagerly into my eyes
like hungry puppies
like nothing like a meal for me
move on; next

no one is as worn as i
by the heartache of talking out loud
though you don't see me swim
i'm learning to breathe underwater

(and it does not make me sensitive to you
or care you have done the same so what)

i am stockpiling secrets
i am hoarding lies
under the clothes under the carpets
of other people's homes
and inside my body

i'll be the best of the worst
one way

there isn't another